Sorry if I’m moving a bit slow tonight, I had a hot pocket earlier. If you’ve never eat a hot pocket then you don’t know that feeling, like I’m gonna die. Did I eat it or shove it on my face. Oh, I was looking at a box of hot pockets they have a warning on them, “Hope your drunk or heading to a trailer you hillbilly enjoy the next nascar event.” You never go to a nice restaurant and they’re like “tonight’s specials are a Cesar salad and a hot pocket which is hand cooked in a dirty microwave.” I feel like if they did serve hot pockets they’d serve it with a side of pepto. How did they come up with the idea, what did some guy at a marketing meeting be like “How about we fill a pop tart with nasty meat. And then you cook in a sleeve thing.” There is the vegetarian hot pocket for those who don’t want to eat meat, but don’t worry it’s still guaranteed to cause diarrhea. It should just come with a roll of toilet paper.
