[Verse 1]
Call me collect
Call me anytime you need to
I'll be waiting there
If you've got a girlfriend
Or a boyfriend
I'll be on the line doing my level best
Call me an asshole
Call me what you want to
I will love you still
Call me complaining
I will entertain you
And tell it like it is
[Chorus 1]
If you start a band
Well, you can use my van
I'll be in the crowd, doing my level best
I'll scream with all my might
'Cause it's my level best
[Verse 2]
Call me divided
Call me at your lowest
I will belong to you
Call me at midnight
I can talk for hours
Discussing male privilege
[Chorus 2]
If you are in trouble
Something illegal
I'll be at your side, doing my level best
If it breaks me up inside
It's my level best
[Bridge]
Call me with bad news
Tell me that you loved her
I will listen to you
I will catch the next flight for any country
I will risk it all to do my level best
I'd fly the plane myself and do my level best
[Chorus 3]
If you need a million borrowed by tomorrow
I would rob a bank to do my level best
I'd smuggle in drugs, it's my level best
I would kill a queen, it's my level best
A thousand bright ideas, they're my level best