Rucka Rucka Ali - Danny Tanner Rap Lyrics

[Intro]You know I just don't get itLast year I lived with my wifeAnd three little girlsThis year I got half the neighborhoodMoved into my townhouseWhat you need help with?It's called room and board, bitchGet the fuck out of here[Chorus]You see I'mJust Danny Tanner (Danny Tanner)I'm just a hell of a guyI don't know what Michelle would doWithout me (Do without me)Everybody in the worldSeem to nowBe part of my family (Part my family)Now everybody's got a problemAnd my job's to make themHappy (Make them happy)[Verse 1]Yo, you might see me walkin'My dumb dog CometNamed after the powderWe throw into the toiletThis mutt's not oursHis mama snuck into thеHouse without knockin'Dropped some puppiеsOut of her cuntAnd took offMy daughter thought we won'tNotice the dog barkin'Gave birth on my propertyLike a Mexican hopperWho's fuckin' bed is this?Jesse KatsopolisMullet headAnother freeloaderOn my premisesJoey GladstoneUnfunniest of comicsDumbassToe head meansYour hair's got jaundiceOh, c'mon nowCut it outCut it out?How bout I cut you out of myFuckin' list of dependentsMy fuckin' daughter mustNot know what a garage isReversed Joey's car into theFuckin' dishwasherI'm so proudMy baby can't parkAt least my dead wifeNever saw her turn out retardedHow RudeNever saw MichelleTurn juvenile culpritDisobeys me to stay up lateAnd watch Arsenio HallYou got it, dudeGot what bitch?You and CometUncle JesseAnd half the zip codeLivin' at my address?Oh, I seeJesse thinks this houseIsn't mine (Oh)Turned my basementInto a studioAnd signed him a record dealWith a guy who's got theSame Elvis hair he's gotWho he probably met onEpstein's pedophile island[Bridge]Jesse and The RipperNever had a hitTheir musicSounds like shitThe Japs still gaveThose faggotsA number one club hitThey said fuck it (Ah)[Verse 2]Jesse Katsopolis don't want meTo play in his cringeLittle 90sBeach Boys cover bandThen he hired ViperWho banged my kid DJDamn VYou're almost as badAs Tommy PageHittin' on Stephanie (Do you like me?)A couple of pedosWatch over my girlsThen some ghetto nerdCrosses overInto my worldDid I do that?Do what?99% of crimes committedBetween 1981 and current year? (Huh?)A house with three dudesBut not gay (Nah)FBI probablyGot a pedo file on me (Shit)Wake up San FranciscoIt's Chris HansenSit downTell me why you toldLittle baby MichelleTo bend down (Let go)And remove diaperWith two men that have been foundTo spend time with kidsEvery time their dad went out (Heehee)Look at the fedCircle the house againWe got three minors livingIn a house of menAnd I don't need helpFrom these menWith givin'My female kidsBathes and a scene withUncle Jesse's penisTeenagersThey're Goddamn teenagersLet em change clothes without youJoey, you pederast[Chorus]'Cause I'mJust Danny TannerI get arrested for invitingPedophiles intoMy addy (To my addy)Apparently every fuckin' pedophileNeeds to live around me (Live around me)Tell everybody in the fuckin' worldTo come move in with me (Move in with me)[Verse 3]Is it because you love meThat you all fuckin' live above me?Aunt Becky and two more fuckin' kidsNow live with hubbyNow because thisHot talk show thotGot knocked upThen my top floor blockIs her locked spot?The other townhouse next doorIs fuckin' emptyTheir only kid isAlways fuckin' hereKimmy GibblerOh, I justStopped by to air out my feetUse your telephoneEat your foodAnd go down onUncle JesseMy fuckin' fat daughterGettin' plowed by that kidHe's like a fuckin'Discount KmartKirk CameronShit guess just stop byAfter football practiceI'll just be here payin' offThe mortgage and taxesWhich is it, Jesse?KatsopolousOr CochranCon manFaggotRunnin' aroundWith a fake mustacheRapin' BeckyIn the kitchenWhile the audience laughsSo tell meWhat the hell's a fella to do?For every season that passesAnother relativeMoves in (Hey!)Jesse's uncleShow up toScream and act stupidJoey GladstoneWith his hand up the assOf a woodchuckThe kid from Kindergarten CopSingin' shit with JoeySuddenly we know who taught himAbout penises and pussiesNow Michelle brings herFriends aroundLet's allow everybody toWatch the game at my house (Great)And then to top it offMy sister's got a chimpanzeeWho's probably relatedTo the Greek side of the familyI step out of the houseFor a donkey weekendGet back and seeJesse's playin' songsWith his friendsOkayLemme show you how I really do feelUh, hereMeet the BenellEat up some shellsNow I finally could just have thisFuckin' house to myselfGoodnight Donna, JoStephanie and Michelle[Chorus]'Cause I'mJust Danny Tanner (Danny Tanner)I'm not a negative guyBut I don't want all these fucksAround me (Fucks around me)Nobody ever elsePays the rentEspecially not Becky (Cially not Becky)I'm gonna sit enjoy the quiet nowFuck Uncle Jesse (Uncle Jesse)You see I'mJust Danny Tanner (Danny Tanner)I'm just a hell of a guyI don't know what Michelle would doWithout me (Do without me)Everybody in the worldSeem to nowBe part of my family (Part my family)Now everybody's got a problemAnd my job's to make themHappy (Make them happy)