Here we have a man who's chosen to Instagram
His apple pie, a la mode
While he fumbles through the filters
His ice cream has gotten a la hot and the pie a la cold
As you can see, this street performer's drawn a crowd
To watch him do his thingBut instead of just enjoying the show
It seems everyone's decided to make a documentary
Notice this unreasonably attractive couple enjoying a reasonably priced Italian dinner
together
Social networking instead of working on getting to know each other better
How does that filter texture tasteSince your dessert has gone to waste?
When do you think you ever will
Want to watch this portrait juggling film?
You know you want to touch each other
Doesn't that feel good? (He's my brother)
(Get off the phone now) It's gonna be okayThere's no need to be afraid
It doesn't love you; it's gonna die one dayThe government is probably spying on you with it anyway
Here we have a stereotypical teen
Forced to endure family game nightHe's stereotypically texting and missing his mom
Demonstrate a carousel ride
Little Ethan here is celebrating being the center of the universe
For one year
Than actually being hereLet's listen in and see if we can get some context
"Please hurry! We're at 382 Pine."
He has the nerve to make a phone call
At such a pivotal moment in his friend's life
How could you be so disengaged
While precious memories are being made?
Do you really think your friends need
Another baby picture in their feed?
Don't be such a self-centered guy
Now isn't that better? (I think he just died)
(Get off the phone now) It's gonna be okay
There's no need to be afraid
It doesn't love you; it's gonna die one day
It's crawling with e. coli bacteria anyway
(Get off the phone now) It's gonna be okay