[Intro]
Someone, please save us, us college kids!
What my parents told me is what I did
They said, "Go to school and be a college kid."
But, in the end, I questioned why I did

[Verse 1]
I'm poor. I'm starving. I'm flat broke. I've got no cash to spend
Sell all my books for front row tickets to Dave Matthews Band
My girlfriend's at another school. I know this year will test her
I called, found out she had three other boyfriends last semester
And that's why I say:

[Chorus]
(Oh no!) Not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
(No!) Arts and Crafts is all I need
I'll take calligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree

[Verse 2]
Eighty grand later, I found out that all that I had learned
Is that you should show up to take your finals and your mid-terms
The party scene is kind of mean; I think it's sick and twisted
The Navy showed up at my door and claimed that I enlisted
And that's why I say:

[Chorus]
(Oh no!) Not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
(No!) Arts and Crafts is all I need
I'll take calligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree

[Bridge]
Don't get excited. She'll say "no" without a doubt, you see
And I've decided college girls just won't go out with me
They make me nervous and they always catch me off my guard
Like cell phone service, I drop out 'cause college is too hard
It's time to call my father
'Cause it's his Alma Mater
Good grades aren't what they seem
I think he knows the dean
It's time to call my father
'Cause it's his Alma Mater
He says he's proud of me
But college always was his dream
And I would always say, "It's not for me."

[Chorus]
(Oh no!) Not for me, not for me
Call it torture, call it university
(No!) Arts and Crafts is all I need
I'll take calligraphy and then I'll make a fake degree

[Outro]
Someone, please save us, us college kids!
What my parents told me is what I did
They said, "Go to school and be a college kid."
But, in the end, I questioned why I did
Do what will make you happy, do what you feel is right
(Someone, please save us, us college kids!)
Only but one thing matters: Learn how to live your life
(What my parents told me is what I did!)
Do what will make God happy, do what you feel is right
(They said, "Go to school and be a college kid"!)
Only but one thing matters: Learn how to live your life!
(But in the end: Learn how to live your life!)