NF - HAPPY Lyrics

[Verse 1]Dear God, please hear me outI know it's been a couple yearsSince I've reached out and said helloI bet you're wondering why I keepObsessing on and stressing all the little thingsWhen I should be living life and soaking up the memoriesI know I've been selfish, I haveNo excuse to give you, it's trueHanging by a thread's how I liveI don't know why, but I feel more comfortable[Chorus]Living in my agonyWatching my self-esteem go up in flames, acting like I don'tCare what anyone else thinksWhen I know truthfully that that's the furthest thing from how IFeel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask youTo pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped inThe truth is I need help, but I just can't imagineWho I'd be if I was happy[Verse 2]Yeah, been this way so longIt feels like something's off when I'm not depressedI got some issues that I won't addressI got some baggage I ain't open yetI got some demons I should put to restI got some traumas that I can't forgetI got some phone calls I've been avoidingSome family members I don't really connect withSome things I said, I wish I woulda not let slipSome hurtful words that never shoulda left my lipsSome bridges burned, I'm not ready to rebuild yetSome insecurities I haven't dealt with, yesI'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soulAnd the last to admit I need a hand to holdLosing hope, heading down a dangerous roadStrange, I know, but I feel most at home when I'm—[Chorus]Living in my agonyWatching my self-esteem go up in flames, acting like I don'tCare what anyone else thinksWhen I know truthfully that that's the furthest thing from how IFeel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask youTo pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped inThe truth is I need help, but I just can't imagineWho I'd be if I was happy[Bridge]Don't know what's around the bendDon't know what my future isBut I can't keep on living in—[Chorus]Living in my agonyWatching my self-esteem go up in flames, acting like I don'tCare what anyone else thinksWhen I know truthfully that that's the furthest thing from how IFeel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask youTo pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped inThe truth is I need help, but I just can't imagineWho I'd be if I was happy[Outro]If I was happyIf I was happy