[Verse 1]
I was hoping you'd ask me to play
I was hoping you'd look at me that way
You got that hat I like, it fits you just right
Now you wonder why I don't stay

[Chorus]
'Cause I want a man (man)
And you're a douche
I want something I can reuse
You are simply for one-time use

[Verse 2]
Why you being so damn nice?
Where's your girl? Is she out for the night?
Maybe she's had too much gin
Or you were hoping I'd fill in
Well that sounds tempting
But I gotta go

[Chorus]
'Cause I want a man (man)
And you're a douche
I want something I can reuse
You are simply for one-time use

[Bridge]
I'm not gonna lie
You're good at the game you play
I'm onto you, you're cute and shy
An impossible, decent guy
The more I look you in the eye
The more I begin to realize

[Chorus]
That I want a man
And you're a douche, oh yeah
I want a man (man)
And you're a douche, oh
I want a man, mmm (man)
You're a douche

[Outro]
Why don't you walk on over to Duane Reade
And stand next to the product labeled Summer's Eve?
'Cause you're a douche