Jane Krakowski - Bells and Whistles Lyrics

[BOBBY, SPOKEN]Sorry I'm late. I hope there aren't any...objectionsYour honor, may I approach the bench?[JUDGE, SPOKEN]I wish you would[BOBBY, SPOKEN]Watch this, kid[BOBBY]If it pleases the courtAnd I know that I doThere's something that I simply must addressI have heard a reportAnd I swear it's not trueAbout the secret to my great successSo I am here to set the record straightThere are just two methods that I useTo help me litigateBells and whistlesWill get 'em offAlthough the purists, they may scoffAll you need are bells and whistlesTo win the caseThough other juristsMay say you're a disgraceThe prosecution they may restConvinced that they have done their bestThen I start blowin'I start clangin'One more Joe avoids a hangin'Bells and whistlesAre all you needPlus a comprehensive knowledge of the law[INSTRUMENTAL]Plus a comprehensive knowledge of the...Thank you to the judge and all the members of the juryI will try to make this brief 'cause I know you're in a hurrySee my client, the defendant Dr. Joshua D. SkinnerHe was merely at the club to take his darling wife to dinnerHe stumbled on the body of Miss Elsie, the decedentAnd you may jump to conclusions, but the fact is that you needn'tThe prima facie evidence though it's an avalancheWill be expressly and indubitably proven circumstantialThe testimony's hearsay and it reeks of retributionSo what we have here is nothing but malicious prosecutionAnd a verdict of not guilty is the only just solutionBells and whistles are all you needPlus a comprehensive knowledgeThe kind you get in collegeA comprehensive knowledge of the law