Jamila Woods - SONIA (feat. Nitty Scott) Lyrics

[Verse 1]Once upon a time, little girl on the grindMet a boy, he was nice at the timeWeeks from the days, plans, they were madeSoon, you could call them an itemFunny how a title makes them think they own youTellin' you how to dress and who to talk toFella, please, don't nobody ask youMy great, great granny was born a slaveShe found liberation before the graveWho you tellin' how to behave?Ooh, I'm trying to forgive, but can't forget[Chorus]It was bad, it was badIt was bad, it was badIt was the crying that was bad (It was the crying that was)It was the lying that was bad (It was the lying that was)It was the blaming that was bad (It was the blaming that was)The self-hating that was bad (The self-hating that was)It was the waiting that was bad (It was the waiting that was)It was the doubting that was bad (It was the doubting that was)It was the screaming that was bad (It was the screaming that was)The fear of leaving that was bad (The fear of leaving that was)[Verse 2: Nitty Scott]Uh, uh, uh, yoOnce upon a time, I believed in linesLike "I just wasn't good enough for you" and other liesMr. "Didn't miss the water 'til the well was dry"Tried and I tried, compromise, compromiseIt was pouring into you while emptying meIt was rationalizing all your toxicityIt was hands around my neck with us on my backIt was pressure, pain, and panic attacksHad me faded to the wire, putting out my fireUse to have requirements that turned into desiresExpected to retire me while keeping you inspiredAll the women in me are tiredListen, niggaMy abuela ain't survive several trips around the sunSo I could give it to somebody's undeserving sonThis pussy don't pop for you, booty don't bop for youNever owe none, belong to no oneNow I only trust patterns, not apologiesFirst date questions, what's your ideologies?Do you love yourself? Are you healing your trauma?What's your concept of wealth? Do you check on yo mama?'Cause your loyalty ain't slavery, sisThat shit insulting to her bravery, sisI know you tangledBut this life is no exchange for your laboring, sisWithhold ya flavors, he unsavory, sis, sis[Bridge]I remember saying no to things that happened anywayI remember feeling low the mirror took my face awayI couldn't recognize her, I laid and cried 'til myTears washed the kitchen tiles, I swear I couldn't budgeBut then I talked about it 'til mama, sister, cousinTold me they went through it and since it's in my bloodI knew I could do it 'cause if my blood went through itI knew I could endure it, I knew that I could heal itOh, I'm trying to forgive, but can't forget[Chorus]It was bad, it was badIt was bad, it was badIt was the crying that was bad (It was the crying that was)It was the lying that was bad (It was the lying that was)It was the blaming that was bad (It was the blaming that was)The self-hating that was bad (The self-hating that was)It was the waiting that was bad (It was the waiting that was)It was the doubting that was bad (It was the doubting that was)It was the screaming that was bad (It was the screaming that was)The fear of leaving that was bad (The fear of leaving that was)