Fascinating Aïda

Lyrics to Big C

[Adèle]

Hey, ho, vodeo do

When I'm around there's an atmosphere of tension

Boom, boom, there's an elephant in the room

It's a subject that nobody

Absolutely nobody

Genuinely nobody wants to mention



Big C...

It comes to you it comes to me

And it's as nasty as can be, Big C

Big C...

It's unexpected you'll agree

And it can make it hurt to pee, Big C



You can lose your sense of humour when you find you have a tumour or some lumps

(I know I did!)

When you hear the diagnosis it is my prognosis you'll be down in the dumps

When you have growths as big as gourds you'll want to go to Lourdes I shouldn't doubt

And if you have chemotherapy then very soon your hair'll be falling out



[Adèle (Dillie and Liza)]

Big C (Big C, Big C)

It has a massive family tree (You must agree)

Many types from a to z (No guarantee that you'll be free)

Big C... (Ahh)

You'll soon find out it holds the key

If you're to be or not to be

Big C...



[Dillie]

Your friends will rush to the rescue

With sage, and thyme and fescue



[Adèle]

Oh, how kind!



[Dillie]

Organic, of course!



[Liza]

They'll insist you give up drinking

And take up positive thinking



[Adèle]

It's all about the mind



[Liza]

Who knew?



[Dillie]

Though their grasps on meds are shakey

They'll suggest a course of reiki

It can't fail



[Adèle]

Better already!



[Liza]

And they've found this brilliant diet

And really, you must try it! It's just kale



[Adèle]

Rather tough...



[Liza]

Not in a nutribullet



[All]

Big C

It isn't cured with herbal tea

Or rubbing crystals on your knee

Big C, Big C

It's no use beefing up your chi

The cells will merely say tee hee

Big C...



Friends will put on cheery faces

And tell of hopeless cases who beat the odds

They will mean it most sincerely but perhaps those folks were merely lucky sods

They will tell of Uncle Fred who was jolly nearly dead; they said adieu

But in spite of his sarcoma, his dialysis and his stoma he climbed K2



Big C, we've made it our philosophy

To face the bastard with a sweep, Big C

We'll crack a bottle of Chablis (or two, or three)

Book that holiday in Capri, Big C

Big C

Big C

Fuck you Big C!