Lyrics to Such Horrible Things

Sit Back Now, Let Me Tell You A Tale



Where Justice Does Not Prevail



About An Ill-Fated Life, So Very Full Of Strife



Where Two Wrongs Do Not Make A Right







So







When I Was Born



I Did Surely Scorn



My Proud Parents Name



Then Their Lives Went Down The Drain



Drove Them Insane



My Birth Was A Curse



I Bit The Nurse



Oh, But I Love The Worst







I Deserve To Be Slowly Submersed



Dried Out Then Laid In A Hearse







When I Was Two



I Poured Super Glue



Into My Fathers Hair



As He Sat Unaware



In His Arm Chair



Much To His Dismay



Had To Cut It All Away



Oh, But It Felt Great







I Deserve To Be Cut And Filleted



Then Tossed About In Disarray



Until The Pieces Melt Away







I Am Not A Bad Man



Even Though I Do Bad Things



Very Bad Things



Such Horrible Things



But It's Not Quite What It Seems



**Not Quite What He Seems**



Not Quite What I Seem



Ah, Hell



It's Exactly What It Seems







When I Was Four



I'd Wait By The Door



With A Knife In My Hand



And A Most Devious Plan



It Would Be Quite Grand



As The Mail Fell Through The Slot



The Sharp Edge He Got



Oh, But I Like The Thought







I Deserve To Be Tied In A Knot



Broken Bones And Blood Clots







When I Was Six



I Used To Trick



The Next Door Neighbors Son



In The Woods We Would Run



Time For Fun



Hide And Seek Has A Cost



He Would Be Forever Lost



Oh, But I Love To Scoff







I Deveserve To Have My Head Lopped Off



Hidden And Covered In Moss



Until This Memory's Forgot







I Am Not A Bad Man



Even Though I Do Bad Things



Very Bad Things



Such Horrible Things



But It's Not Quite What It Seems



**Not Quite What He Seems**



Not Quite What I Seem



Ah, Hell



It's Exactly What It Seems







When I Was Eight



I Used To Hate



The Color Of My House



So As Quite As A Mouse



I Burned It Down



To The Ground



When No One Was Around



Oh, But I Love The Sound







I Deserve To Be Quickly Put Down



Rotting Six Feet Underground







When I Was Ten



I Used To Pretend



To Drown In The Sea



Till They Come And Rescue Me



Then Preceed



To Laugh In Their Face



Such A Disgrace



Oh, But I Love The Taste







I Deserve To Have My Brains Displaced



All Over The Fireplace



Until This Life Has Been Erased







I Am Not A Bad Man



Even Though I Do Bad Things



Very Bad Things



Such Horrible Things



But It's Not Quite What It Seems



**Not Quite What He Seems**



Not Quite What I Seem



Ah, Hell



It's Exactly What It Seems







When I Was Twelve



I Used To Delve



Into Evil Schemes



Just To Illicit Screams



Boost My Self Esteem



Pushed My Sister Down A Well



She Just Fell



Oh, But I Love To Dwell







I Deserve To The Roast Deep Down In Hell



When No One Can Hear Me Yell







When I Was Fourteen







Nothing Much Happened







Well, There Was That One Time







I Am Not A Bad Man



Even Though I Do Bad Things



Very Bad Things



Such Horrible Things



But It's Not Quite What It Seems



**Not Quite What He Seems**



Not Quite What I Seem



Ah, Hell



It's Exactly What It Seems







When I Was Sixteen



Life Was Frightening



My Brother Was Quiet Dull



So With Laughter In My Skull



Pushed Him In A Hole



Then Buried Him Alive



He Barely Survived



Oh, But I Love The Cries







I Deserve To Be Battered And Fried



In An Electric Chair That's Set On High







Now That I'm Eighteen



I Still Hate Things



From This Padded Cell I Call My Home



No Friends, No Phone



No Life To Call My Own







Here I Will Lie



Until The Very Day I Die



Until My Blood Begins To Dry



And I Return To The Darkness From Whence I Came







So







I Am Not A Bad Man



Even Though I Do Bad Things



Very Bad Things



Such Horrible Things



But It's Not Quite What It Seems







Not Quite What I Seem



Ah, Hell



I'm Exactly What I Seem