[Chorus 1: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor]
Because this song's all about being big, suck a dick thin people
If you are super thin, super thin, you're evil
This catchy tune's message should have been we're equal
But it shames thin women, thin women
[Verse 1: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor]
Yeah, it's kind of clear, I like to eat food
But I can write big hit songs and I can sing 'em too
I see these skinny girls that get super famous
So I say, hey, why not Meghan Trainor?
I talk like I am black even though I am white
I lived in the suburbs, I've had a perfect life
Still there's one thing that bugs me-I don't know why
But when I see good-looking skinny people I think they should die!
[Pre-Chorus 1: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor, White-haired women, Female dancer #1]
Yeah, my mama, she told me, "Don't worry about your size"
But when I see thin women I want to gouge out their eyes
(Gouge out their eyeballs, gouge out their eyeballs)
When I hear Gwyneth Paltrow say, "Oh my god, I feel so fat"
I want to beat in her pretty face with a baseball bat (Woah!)
[Chorus 2: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor, White-haired women, Fat dancer]
Now all five of us will do this dumb dance, this dumb dance (We're dancing)
These girls need haircuts bad, really bad (We can't see)
Meghan give me a chance, just one chance to rest please
I hired you to dance, damnit, dance!
[Verse 2: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor, Cameron Dallas as dapper guy [?]]
I'm bringin' booty back
Booty never left, that statement is trash!
Wow, I'm just playing, don't hate me 'cause I'm fat!
You're actually normal
Every inch of you is perfect, stop acting like a victim!
[Pre-Chorus 2: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor, Group of female dancers, Female dancer #2]
Yeah, my mama, she told me that being big is sexy
And that it turns on men which totally validates me
(Makes me feel pretty, makes me feel pretty)
I thought this song was supposed to be 'bout loving you for you (It is)
Then why are you basing your self worth off of pleasing dudes?
[Chorus 3: Bart Baker as Meghan Trainor, Erin Michelle as plastic dress girl, Sam Macaroni as record executive #1, *Shea Parker as record executive #2,* Tony Parker]
Now let me reiterate it again, if you're thin you're a bitch
That's totally not true and completely mindless
I'm actually on my way to help the homeless
Nice try but that can't be, you're skinny
Meghan, your single "All About That Bass" is a hit! *(It's platinum!)*
It's time to lose some weight for your next *pop anthem*
But I'm about that bass and that means I'm curvy
That's why everyone like 'bout this song
*Now Meghan do you wanna be a star or a one-hit wonder?*
If you don't lose some weight that would be a blunder
*To help you get in shape we've brought in a trainer*
It's time to get you ripped! Let's do this!
