Garbed in misery, a mirror of my world, vomit still speckles my bibLowly imps of pity swarm like buzzards in the sun
to lull me to sleep in my cribI dream of you and then I dream of something else,
I lust to be lustful once more.Recounting failures I have failed once again,
the kismit I cannot ignore.Inside of this crater I have combed for days
for any small sliver, moments looped, replayed
I wanted to save you,
I haven't the strength to save us both
I long to be near you, your ship is now miles out from my coast
I still get your messages,
no flickers of light will bring you back, what was almost blinding
fades slowly to black.Alone, confused with a body I abused, silence, silenced by a monster in my place,
defeat, passenger seat, driver steals my voice and wears my faceI wanted to save you, I haven't the strength to save us both,
I long to be near you, your ship is now miles out from my coast,I still get your messages,
they're useless but mean the world to me, recalling my mother,
smiling down at the proud little boy I used to be
This river runs higher,
to all I've ever desired,
I washed up on purpose,
drowning on the surface,
in envy of what he became, a dying green star